Dating each other
Treat me as someone that he wants to take it to the "next level" with (i.e. I really want to feel like he adores me and I am the most important thing in the world to him (besides our kids). I want a brand new marriage WITH him since I have had so many personal revelations and so has he, but I am afraid I will be kicked in the stomach and disappointed once again if we ever even tried. Being romantic (gestures, dates, I love you's for reason, card/gift for no reason). Does it ever come back with a person that you have had marital problems with? I understand that I am older and wiser than I was when I got married, and I don't want to be unrealistic. He says that too much has happened over the last 22 years, and I agree.But there’s another element that’s a real drag on everyone…
It seems like everyone I talk to hates the dating process.
I thought that we should "date" each other for a while to see what happens. I am TOO forgiving, overlook often, very optimistic, and make excuses for him. For women, almost the entire pie revolves around our significant other. It will probably go back and forth until it stabilizes one way or the other.
When you wanted your marriage to work and have done it for 7 years, you began to do it without even knowing. I want to be firm, realistic, but not too demanding. For the men, it is only a "slice" and they have many more portions that are important to them too. Kcrat IMO 2 weeks isn't long enough for someone to change their life for good, especially if the behaviors that caused the split have been going on for years. My H and I have been separated for almost 2 months and while it's been hard, I know that if we are serious about changing some of our behaviors and it is going to take time. I've been going to C by myself and he has expressed interest in possibily joining me.
If you love your H, take things slow and do whatever you can to work through this.
Make sure you take this time to work on yourself as well.They go through the motions because they have to, but not usually because they’re excited about it.They feel it’s a huge source of pain and frustration.And any time we’re forced to do something unpleasant, we begin to loathe even the thought of it. You have to learn to speak, act, and express yourself in a way that is congruent and rewarding to you.