Dating norms in france


12-Aug-2017 01:52

In other words, there's a very French willingness to accept that a relationship might not necessarily go anywhere in particular -- no closure, no marriage -- but that it still might be an essential and necessary experience of love and being human.

While living in France, either on exchange or temporary stay, one might come across the possibility of dating a French person.

Often it's just not a big deal and the good night kiss is sort of an expected thing... It's totally normal to go on a few dates, then just decide it's not for you.

Would you buy a pair of pants without trying them on?

While we grow up thinking about love in black and white, they grow up inscrutably grey.

dating norms in france-10

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The emotional integrity of a relationship can lie in the experience of it alone and not necessarily in its outcome or ultimate resolution."If anything looks too good to be true," my French friend Marie-Louise once said, "it probably is." They also believe that personal love is a matter of private business, which goes a long way toward explaining the shock Marie-Louise expressed when she stumbled on the wedding announcements in the style section of for the first time."The only time you see announcements published like this in France is if royalty married, or if you are in a tiny village where everyone knows everyone else and the butcher's daughter is marrying the mayor's son," she said.The pursuit of happiness is written into our Declaration of Independence, after all, and the pursuit of the Happy Ending (ideally with that soul mate) is written into our culture. Despite divorce rates and all signs of trouble in paradise, we often feverishly invest in the hunt for a mate and, once found, in the business of marriage (the wedding, the blitz, the bling).

This stands in stark contrast to the French, who not only prefer to cohabitate rather than marry, but are also wary of perfection.This is how the French are groomed to think about love from an early age: not in the absolutes of total love or utter rejection, but in nuances and a range of possibilities.It dawned on me at that moment that while we Americans are groomed to seek happy endings and closure, the French are more comfortable with emotional subtleties and ambiguity."America is like one big European province." Publicly trumpeting true love and the hope of enduring happiness in this way is suspect to the French, because every expression of true love (he loves me!



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